Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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