Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
