don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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