I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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