nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
