there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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