even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
