My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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