hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
