I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
