My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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