Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
