I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
