How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My pussy is not your playground.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
