even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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