you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize