But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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