So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize