Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
do nipples grow back?
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