if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
