she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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