capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
