God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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