Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
