I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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