I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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