What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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