I'm going to jail i love you
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
