What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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