Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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