Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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