My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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