Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
