After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
