So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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