i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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