I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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