My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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