Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
