just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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