hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
