also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I just put wine in my tea
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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