Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
