I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
