Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize