You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
