i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
