Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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