quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
