hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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