the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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