Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
