Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
