I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
