i just had sex bonerless
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
