True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
