...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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