I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
