I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
