When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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