If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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