There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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